Sweety Takes Charge

Sweety has decided that since we have come back home, he will take over the kitchen and finances. I’m thinking that he’s feeling rather useless because he can’t go back to work for another year.

He even went so far as to hide the grocery list from me the other day so that I wouldn’t make any changes to it. I was allowed to push the cart though.

I will admit that I’m rather uncomfortable with the finance thing. But that’s because I’ve been responsible for paying the bills since we’ve moved here in December. Add that to the fact that Sweety rarely has the energy to get up and down the stairs let alone run around town paying bills.

But, regardless of how uncomfortable I am with putting this in practice, I am very happy with what it means. I’m glad that Sweety is feeling better, even if his red cells haven’t bounced back yet. Hopefully him taking charge is the beginning of him getting back to normal.

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I’m Not A Touchy-Feely Person

Hug

Hug (Photo credit: pamhule)

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like being touched by people I don’t know or trust. For me a simple handshake can set my tension level high for the rest of the day. I have even been known to have violent reactions when people get too close without warning.

And I am perfectly fine with this.

I have had people complain that I should be more open. I’ve had friends complain that they should be able to give me a simple hug when they greet me or when they leave. I’ve even had strangers tell me that I was weird because of my “no touching” rule.

All of this complaining by other people has made me self-conscious. I have wondered if it really was so weird that I wanted to keep my body for myself. Is is strange that I think hugs should be special and should represent a personal closeness with the other person? Is it weird that I don’t think other people should dictate who can touch my body?

I don’t think so.

In fact, I will even go so far to say that my hugs are extra special because I don’t give them away to just anyone. My hugs mean more because they show that I trust you. My hugs are special because they are rare. My hugs are filled with emotion because I don’t hug just anyone.

If I were to hug everyone then I would feel each hug diminishing in value. I wouldn’t be able to put as much emotion into a hug because if I did, I would soon find myself exhausted from all of the emotion I spend.

For anyone who is wondering “what the big deal is, it’s just a hug” I would like you to know that it is not “just” a hug. When you say that “it’s just a hug” you are devaluing the power of hugs. When it’s “just” a hug, it’s no longer special.

That is why I don’t like hugging people. Because when I hug someone, I want them to know that I mean it.

Me and Heat Don’t Mix

English: The Wicked Witch of The West, melting...

I’m the one on the right. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Heat makes me wilt. It makes me feel sympathy for the Wicked Witch of the West after the whole water incident. Heat makes me want to crawl from room to room screaming “I’m melting! Melting!”

Unfortunately, the apartment Sweety and I are living in at the moment does not have a working air conditioner. Actually, that’s a lie, the a/c does work a bit while sounding louder than construction. And we do have fans that move the stifling air around the room in an attempt to create a nice breeze.

But, for me, when the heat goes above 30°C it gets unbearable. I would stay in bed but I find myself sticking to the sheets. Cool baths and showers only work when I’m under the water. My cold drinks warm up and the ice in them melts before I get half-through my beverage.

It makes me long for the cool dampness of an East Coast spring. I dream of blizzards that keep me inside while the wind howls outside.

But, as it’s not yet July, I still have the prairie summer to get through before I will once again have that blissful cold that I love. And as I sit in my chair, trying not to stick to the vinyl, I am trying to diminish the heat by the power of my mind. I hope it works before we get to 36/38°C.

If you have any cheap (aka free) tips to beating the heat that doesn’t involve crowds, please share. I’m not use to such dry heat and I have no idea how to cool down.

I Hate Hospital Chairs But I Love Hospitals

Uncomfortableness, thy name is hospital chairs.

In January, my boyfriend became very sick. In one day he went from going to the doctor about not feeling very well to being hospitalized and sent from Red Deer to Edmonton.

The reason for this swift hospitalization was that blood tests had shown his hemoglobin, platelets and white blood cells to be dangerously low. In fact, the nurses were surprised that he was able to walk to the emergency room with hemoglobin levels as low as his were.

Edmonton hematologists completed test after test in an attempt to find out why his blood counts were so low. At first they thought he had aplastic anaemia because he had it ten years ago. Unfortunately the bone marrow biopsy they did came back negative for aplastic.

After a week, they had found out the root cause of his blood problems. He had Myelodysplastic Syndrome which is more commonly known as MDS and is basically a fancy way of saying that his bone marrow was creating abnormal blood cells. It was also a nice way of saying that without a bone marrow transplant he would get acute Myelogenous Leukemia within a year.

The good news was that once the disease was found, treatment could begin and my boyfriend was released from hospital. The catch was that for 7 days a month, we needed to go to Edmonton so that he could get Vidaza treatment.

On top of that, when were weren’t going to Edmonton, he needed to get blood work done at the Central Alberta Cancer Center 3 times a week. And at least once a week he was getting red cells (which takes around 2 1/2 hours) and platelets (which takes about 35-45 minutes).

During all of this testing, treatment and blood work, I got very intimate with hospital chairs. I have sat in them and held my boyfriend’s hand while we waited for test results. I curled up in them and tried to read while my boyfriend napped through blood transfusions. I have even slept in them while he was kept in the emergency room because they didn’t want to release him with his white cell count below normal.

And, let me tell you, at no point did I comment on how comfortable hospital chairs were. In fact, they are quite the opposite. It is extremely difficult to sit in hospital chairs and not change position in the hope that this new position will somehow be more comfortable.

So, when we found out that they had found a 10/10 match for unrelated bone marrow, I was extremely excited. I saw the end of hours spent in hospital chairs.

Well, his transplant was on May 9th and I still have not gotten out of the hospital chairs. Yes, he is doing a lot better than expected and has been released from hospital. But, we still need to go back at least 3 times a week for blood tests and fluid. As well, we need to keep a close watch in case he gets Graft Vs Host Disease because that could mean even more hospital visits.

Hopefully by this time next year I will be done with those horribly uncomfortable hospital chairs.

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By the way, if you are reading this post, please donate blood, sign up for a bone marrow registryagree to donate organs or donate comfortable chairs to your local hospital. You never know how many lives you could save and how much stress you can relieve by giving a little.