Migraines and the Inability to Block Out Light

Today I woke up with a migraine. It wasn’t the worst migraine I’ve ever had but it was a bit worse than my normal ones. The throbbing in my head was made worse by the fact that our house has blinds that do nothing to block out the light. As well, the cats decided that they needed to be very vocal today.

I was suppose to go out to brunch with Sweety, his sisters and his father but, needless to say, moving was not an option for me this morning. In fact, I don’t even feel so hot moving now and my migraine has lessened from its intensity.

I have a theory on why I had a migraine today. Part of it is due to the fact that I had a very bad “episode” last night. It was as if I couldn’t turn off my brain and all I could think about was everything that I needed to get done and how I’m doing a really bad job of taking care of Sweety.

In a way I almost feel as if I deserve my migraine. Partly because Sweety and I are just getting by and partly because there is so much more that I could be doing but I’m not.

I know that I’m doing all I can at the moment, but today is just one of those days when I can’t convince myself that that’s enough.

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Insomnia and Sleeping Pills

Over the last few days I have been trying some new sleeping pills in an attempt to overcome my insomnia. Unfortunately the pills I took yesterday didn’t help me fall asleep like they were supposed to. Instead, they helped me stay asleep.

I took the first pill at about 9:30pm and by midnight I was still awake so I took another pill thinking that I needed more in my system. After all the dosage is 1-2 pills at bedtime. But after the second pill it still took me several hours to fall asleep. I fell asleep around 3am and the pills kept me asleep until 8pm.

The only problem is that I am still feeling extremely groggy and it is not helping me with my post. In fact, it has taken me almost two hours to write this much.

I may be MIA for a few days while my sleeping pills get sorted out. Hopefully by then I will be able to get a full night’s sleep and focus on what it is I’m writing about.

Tired, Tired, Tired So Why Can’t I Sleep

I was honestly thinking about skipping my post today because I am really tired. I figured that I had already written posts for the last 8 days. Did I really need to post today? Couldn’t I skip today and sleep instead?

Then, like all people (even the ones who don’t admit to it) I answered myself. Because I know me. If I were to let myself skip today then I’d want to skip posting tomorrow too.

My excuse for wanting to skip my post today is that I’m tired. I have had trouble sleeping for the past week. When I have fallen asleep I wake up less than 2 hours later and can’t fall back asleep.

At first I thought that my insomnia was being caused by caffeine because I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee lately. Unfortunately, when I tried going a day without any caffeine, I didn’t sleep at all.

Then I thought that my mind was overactive and this was causing my sleepless nights (and days). So I tried meditating before going to bed in an attempt to clear my mind. I even tried meditating in bed. The only thing I came away from this experiment with was that meditation was not helping me fall asleep.

All of this lack of sleep has made me a very tired human shaped creature. This has made my bed a very tempting destination; especially when compared to sitting in an uncomfortable chair and writing a blog post.

Unfortunately, due to past experience, I know that my bed will not grant me the sleep I so desperately want. Instead I will end up lying down, staring at the ceiling until I finally drift off at which point I will sleep for an hour or two before waking up.

Maybe now that my post is done I will be able to fall asleep? Is a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep too much for me to ask from my body? I don’t think so.

 

*For those wondering, I have been diagnosed with insomnia before and have been prescribed medications for it in the past, I’m just putting off going to the doctors.